29 November, 2006
I don’t think my opinions are stupid and others do; so it is better to keep them to myself.
Dear Anne,
You say people consider your ideas to be stupid, but you think otherwise. For the most part, I find your opinions very true, in fact, there is very little, of what you write, that I disagree with.
By what you have written, I find that, most of the time, your opinions are neglected and thought of a foolish. So of this I do agree with you. I find that most of your “room-mates” are guilty of this crime. However, of what I have gathered I believe that Pim, Margot, and Peter remain innocent and have never thought of your opinions as stupid. They might have disagreed with them, but never regarded them as dim-witted. Overall, I believe you have made a good decision to keep your views to yourself.
Although some may not agree with your views, many do. It would be wrong to keep your numerous ideas and opinions from the world as everyone has a right to be heard. Several people can relate to what you are saying. Just because a few people do not agree with you, it doesn’t mean you should completely shut up. There are many differences of opinion and all are highly valued. No opinion is wrong. I feel that you can still convey your thoughts to the three of you room-mates who at least give you a chance to be heard. As you have said, you and Peter are very much the same person inside. You both share many of the same problems. I think it is a good idea to keep your talks with this friend going. Your sister, Margot, as you said, also shares many of the same troubles as yourself. It is good to have different people to talk to, maybe about different topics and that you have both a boy and a girl with whom you can confide in.
In my case, my personality is quite different to yours. I have a rather shy manner. I rarely talk unless spoken to, though I share many thoughts that run as deep as yours. So when I do provide input, it is readily accepted and almost never regarded as unwise.
I think throughout your writing, you have somewhat grown in your interests, dilemmas, etc. You are starting to discuss more adult topics and take on more grown-up interests. I think this will be good for you and after a bit more of growth in this area, you will be able to state your opinions in a more mature way and be heard by everyone.
You have great views on life and opinions that should be heard worldwide. You cannot force people to always agree with you but they cannot force you to keep your ideas to yourself. Everyone might not always agree with you but everybody will once in a way. Your mind is one of deep thoughts which should be shared. You would be depriving the world otherwise. Believe in yourself and be confident about your ideas.
I hope I have helped you in some way and that everything works out all right.
Good Luck.
Yours,
Josh
December 2nd, 2006 at 7:00
Ideas & Content
I think that your ideas were exceptionally clear and focused and you backed them up with scenarios of how her decision would affect the world
Organization
Your organization is effective and I do not think you have to make any changes on it at this point.
Voice
Your voice was okay, but it was not very exciting, to be honest. I thought that the content was great, but it would be better with a more engaging voice.
-”You cannot force people to always agree with you but they cannot force you to keep your ideas to yourself.”
I like that line. Very true.
December 3rd, 2006 at 12:04
Hey,
I totally agree that Anne should express her opinions, even though some people would not care.
Ideas and Content:
I truly believe that you were extremely focused on the main topic of persuading Anne. You also added extra information to back up your points
Organization:
I did not really understand why you divided your letter to 7 paragraphs. Since most of them were focused on the same points, i do not think that many paragraphs is needed.
Voice:
I really liked how you shared some of your personal self in comparison to her. It helped the letter be more interesting to read. I felt that you done really well in this trait
December 5th, 2006 at 6:31
Word choice:
Your words are functional and appropriate while few words energizes your writing.
Sentence Fluency:
Your sentence Fluency has easy flow and rhythm and a variety in length structure. I liked how you used D,ID and ID D such as:
So when I do provide input, it is readily accepted and almost never regarded as unwise. : D,ID
Conventions:
There is exceptionally strong control of standard conventions of writing.